I love Rumi.

A new addition to my list of favorite poets: Jalalludin Rumi, a 13th-century Persian mystical poet. Here is one of his poems:

A Moment of Happiness

A moment of happiness,

you and I sitting on the verandah,

apparently two, but one in soul, you and I.

We feel the flowing water of life here,

you and I, with the garden's beauty

and the birds singing.

The stars will be watching us,

and we will show them

what it is to be a thin crescent moon.

You and I unselfed, will be together,

indifferent to idle speculation, you and I.

The parrots of heaven will be cracking sugar

as we laugh together, you and I.

In one form upon this earth,

and in another form in a timeless sweet land.

Ahhh.. this is my kind of poetry. ♥

Classic vs Modern

It ain't always easy to choose.

Photo and outfits by Mea Figueras

What 2010 Taught Me

I was all covered up when the year 2010 began. I wore leather boots, skinny jeans, long sleeves (with layers of clothes underneath) and a thick bright pink feather boa, primarily because I spent the holidays in America; but aside from that, what I wore also said something about me. During that time, I was very secretive about my thoughts and my feelings to the point that even though I did want to voice out my sentiments, I never really did. Something inside me always stopped me from saying things. Simply put, I was afraid... of exposing my mind and my heart. My what if's caused me to play it safe: to shut up and just listen. I hid my most sincere sentiments in the deepest corners of my soul.

But as the year progressed, I was faced with moments that urged me to just say what I wanted to say. I was pretty stubborn, most often than not, I held back. However, later on, I became bothered about it. I always felt a sting every time I kept my mouth shut, when deep inside I screamed out loud my thoughts and my feelings. There was that reverberating feeling: the words I was unable to verbalize haunted me at night like ghosts begging for salvation. I felt a pang of pain every time something awful happens which would not have happened if I chose to go out of my comfort zone and just said what I had to say.

Speak now or forever hold your peace. I had to learn that saying the hard way, yet because I eventually found the courage to speak out, finally I was able to: start attending belly dance classes, shift to a different course (I disliked the previous one), join Malate Literary Folio, be part of The Book Club, write on my bedroom wall (literally), read my poetry out loud in poetry readings, get answers I have been dying to find out and get rid of hang-ups.

It was funny how 2010 had a way with me. On the last day of the year, I was made to wear a halter top and a skirt (trivia: made of rubber bands!) for my friend Mea Figueras' school project, as if pointing out how much I have changed in a span of one year; how I am like a caterpillar in a cocoon that turned into a butterfly fluttering its wings.

Nobody knows balance as much as the Chinese do.

I watched the Grand China National Acrobatic Circus Splendide! at the Araneta Coliseum last Saturday with my parents and my cousin. All I could say was: WHOA.

Ang lalaking iibig sa aki'y di ako iibigin bilang isang kalakal o kaya'y ipagyayabang na parang tropeo, mananatili sa aking piling taglay ang pag-ibig kong nadarama kapag siya'y kapiling. -Gioconda Belli

I used to stumble upon this quote a lot when I rode the LRT. Back then I had a negative premise on romantic love and serious relationships; to me, they were a burden. I have seen many of my friends in their struggle to make their relationships work, crying day in and day out, sometimes forgetting to sleep or to eat, neglecting some of their priorities. I, too, have gone through the whole thing before.

And boy, it did hurt a lot. I felt like a zombie: monstrous and cold. I hated it --- losing focus and wasting away. No, I do not want to go through the same thing all over again.

And so I focused primarily on school, because at least with that, I get to cultivate my skills. One way or another, at least I was growing. As the famous saying goes, "Books before boys because boys bring babies." And break hearts.

Occasionally I went out on dates, because there was a part of me that wanted to try again, to prove myself wrong about my assumption. Sometimes, I fell in love, but I have learned that that is not enough. Feeling is fleeting. Without commitment, the bond between two lovers is half-cooked. There was that feeling that it was almost there, but not quite.

"Why are you still single?" others would ask me. "Because I choose to," I often replied. Yes, it was true. I did. That was the simplest way to answer it. Truth be told, it was a lot more complicated than that. Several factors were to be considered. I realized that courtship entailed meeting halfway --- and that was what really made it difficult to find someone. Others would demand more than what I could offer, or sometimes I would want more than what others could give. At times there were deceivers, too. It felt like I had my own dance steps, which no one could attune to. "Perhaps my dance was meant to be danced alone, and just because of that I need not to feel lonely," I thought, and I was perfectly fine with it.

Occasionally I broke some hearts (it was for the better) and also had my own share of heart breaks (I have learned later on that being single does not spare you from getting hurt. It is all just really part of life), but this time I was stronger. Like in any dance performance, the show must go on. I kept dancing, not letting myself miss a beat.

Ang lalaking iibig sa aki'y di ako iibigin bilang isang kalakal o kaya'y ipagyayabang na parang tropeo, mananatili sa aking piling taglay ang pag-ibig kong nadarama kapag siya'y kapiling.

Those were the words of the song that I danced to for three years.

Now I am in the car, listening to a new song, singing it while holding hands with my partner.

Barbie Girl

I was reminded of my Barbie doll dresses when I went to F*ART (Fashion Art) last Saturday to deliver some goods, because of the fabulous Christmas tree adorned with tiny dresses near the shop entrance.

With that as an inspiration, I gathered my old Barbie doll outfits and used them to decorate my door in order to add color to my (too) white bedroom.

Painless Eyebrow Threading

Yes, you read the title right. Painless.

Look for Norma in Azta Salon, Katipunan Avenue, Quezon City. She's the one who does my eyebrows, and I tell you: she has the hands of an angel.