Nobody knows balance as much as the Chinese do.

I watched the Grand China National Acrobatic Circus Splendide! at the Araneta Coliseum last Saturday with my parents and my cousin. All I could say was: WHOA.

Ang lalaking iibig sa aki'y di ako iibigin bilang isang kalakal o kaya'y ipagyayabang na parang tropeo, mananatili sa aking piling taglay ang pag-ibig kong nadarama kapag siya'y kapiling. -Gioconda Belli

I used to stumble upon this quote a lot when I rode the LRT. Back then I had a negative premise on romantic love and serious relationships; to me, they were a burden. I have seen many of my friends in their struggle to make their relationships work, crying day in and day out, sometimes forgetting to sleep or to eat, neglecting some of their priorities. I, too, have gone through the whole thing before.

And boy, it did hurt a lot. I felt like a zombie: monstrous and cold. I hated it --- losing focus and wasting away. No, I do not want to go through the same thing all over again.

And so I focused primarily on school, because at least with that, I get to cultivate my skills. One way or another, at least I was growing. As the famous saying goes, "Books before boys because boys bring babies." And break hearts.

Occasionally I went out on dates, because there was a part of me that wanted to try again, to prove myself wrong about my assumption. Sometimes, I fell in love, but I have learned that that is not enough. Feeling is fleeting. Without commitment, the bond between two lovers is half-cooked. There was that feeling that it was almost there, but not quite.

"Why are you still single?" others would ask me. "Because I choose to," I often replied. Yes, it was true. I did. That was the simplest way to answer it. Truth be told, it was a lot more complicated than that. Several factors were to be considered. I realized that courtship entailed meeting halfway --- and that was what really made it difficult to find someone. Others would demand more than what I could offer, or sometimes I would want more than what others could give. At times there were deceivers, too. It felt like I had my own dance steps, which no one could attune to. "Perhaps my dance was meant to be danced alone, and just because of that I need not to feel lonely," I thought, and I was perfectly fine with it.

Occasionally I broke some hearts (it was for the better) and also had my own share of heart breaks (I have learned later on that being single does not spare you from getting hurt. It is all just really part of life), but this time I was stronger. Like in any dance performance, the show must go on. I kept dancing, not letting myself miss a beat.

Ang lalaking iibig sa aki'y di ako iibigin bilang isang kalakal o kaya'y ipagyayabang na parang tropeo, mananatili sa aking piling taglay ang pag-ibig kong nadarama kapag siya'y kapiling.

Those were the words of the song that I danced to for three years.

Now I am in the car, listening to a new song, singing it while holding hands with my partner.

Barbie Girl

I was reminded of my Barbie doll dresses when I went to F*ART (Fashion Art) last Saturday to deliver some goods, because of the fabulous Christmas tree adorned with tiny dresses near the shop entrance.

With that as an inspiration, I gathered my old Barbie doll outfits and used them to decorate my door in order to add color to my (too) white bedroom.

Painless Eyebrow Threading

Yes, you read the title right. Painless.

Look for Norma in Azta Salon, Katipunan Avenue, Quezon City. She's the one who does my eyebrows, and I tell you: she has the hands of an angel.

Dobby-struck

I am not a huge Harry Potter fan, but I just could not get enough of Dobby in the movie! He was such an adorable, brave, kind-hearted elf... I want to hug him!! Haha :)

(Too bad he won't be there in the second part.)

I have forgotten how much I loved to read books.

For the past few months, I have been too occupied with business-related things: finance classes and running my small business. Most of the time I would either be solving mathematical equations, calculating this and that, emailing or texting clients. Thinking about it, I find it very ironic that I am very much involved in these matters now. Two years ago, I would have rolled my eyes even just upon hearing the word "business."

I have a tendency to get really caught up with whatever workload I have. I can simply run on autopilot: to keep working without feeling or even thinking that my body gets tired. That is why last week, my body protested with all its might, demanding for a break. I constantly felt nauseous, feverish and weak. My eyes felt so strained and so dry. My hands got shaky, yet I was still pretty stubborn despite my condition. I forced myself to go to class, to take the quizzes, to study for them, to take notes and to listen intently. However, I could only do so much. Not long, I did not have much choice but to actually give myself a break. It was only then that I once again lay down on my bed thinking of nothing. (For the past few months, I still pondered and thought about different matters even in my sleep.)

From that point on, I became more gentle with the way I treat myself. I started asking myself what she wants to do today, how is she feeling.... questions that I would usually ask the people I care for.

Today, after reading through my finance book, I realized I was thirsty to read other books --- books that do not talk about business, for a change. And so I picked Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert on my bookshelf and started reading it. I actually felt my heart smiling as I did this.

Book-thirsty (if you could call it that), I also headed to the library, went to the Philosophy & Religion section (my favorite part of the library), and scanned through the books on the bookshelf. Oh, how I love the smell of old and new books! I felt like I was breathing in fresh air from the mountains, despite being in the center of a polluted city. In the end, I borrowed Introduction to Buddhism by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso and Mantras: Words of Power by Swami Sivananda Radha.

I sat on one of the benches in the university hallway during the late afternoon, with books on my lap. With one book in hand, I engulfed myself in the world the author opened up for the readers. I sat there, completely relaxed, and thought, "man, I have been missing out on a lot of good stuff. It is time to catch up."